Instilled

    The places I've been, the people I've met or merely seen, and the experiences I've had are completely instilled in me. Completely rooted into my soul. My blood will never flow the same way again. I've been so humbled by the light, inspiration, and change I've felt. These last few months have been a whirlwind of change. Change of scenery, change of heart, a change of self.
     New York has renewed me. History is the mortar of the buildings. The trees are lined with age and expand over each rolling hill. I love the bridges over the Hudson and the view of the mural in downtown Troy. Tight streets and cobblestone roads. Timeless buildings laced with immaculate molding and dusted with time. When we first flew in, it was dark so we couldn't see much but the buildings and houses caught me immediately. And when the sun came out the next day, the trees captured me. I've always had a thing for trees.
     I've always loved traveling. I got that from my dad. What I didn't know is how much I would love living somewhere else. Utah has my heart but I've now felt my heart opening up and being scattered across the country. It started in Troy and Albany and extended to New York City and then Vermont. It's like breathing a new lifestyle and seeing with new eyes. My life has needed a change and although it can be hard, it's coming so sweetly.
     My dad and I went to New York City in September and I was a little nervous. I don't like to feel trapped or be in too much noise. It sounded like the worst combination of both. We rode the train in. It rocked its way down the Hudson River, skimming past the trees, and exposing glances of ferry boats and bridges. My heart fluttered the whole way. Walking up the stairs to see the city was something I'll never forget. The rush of noises came and hit me like a wave music. Huge buildings; old mixed with the new. A diversity of people walking together down the streets of one of the most famous cities. I fell in love with it instantly. I liked being in the crowds of people. There seemed to be a sort of privacy about it and a freedom of self. Having my dad next to me made it that much sweeter.
     We went on a bus tour and I couldn't stop smiling anywhere we went. I love the colorful buildings in SoHo, the flat iron, the Empire State Building, Time's Square, Rockerfeller, small bakeries, the yellow bursts of taxi cabs. In the city of giants I found quaintness and those small breaths encircled me. Time's Square was enchanting to me. Me and my dad stumbled upon it and I liked it but later that night we went back and it was completely mesmerizing. We sat on the steps and I just looked and the gob of people together. Such a quiet in so much sound. So many different people with different lives, talents, challenges, homes, families, and memories, all together, happy to be in this place at that moment. It was beautiful to me. I could go on about New York City for days. About sipping cocoa with dad, about the perfect warmth held in-between the buildings, and so much more. I will never forget that experience and the feelings I had. I'm so grateful to have shared that with my dad.
     About a month later, me, Danny, Michelle, and the twins headed to Vermont. I've always wanted to go there along with New Hampshire (not yet checked off my bucket list). It was so much more than I anticipated. So opposite of New York City, but just as special. There are the tiniest changes in landscape as you go, but Vermont has its own spirit. So quaint and so pretty. Not to mention that the leaves had burst with color. Reds, oranges, and golds I had never seen before. I love the run-down buildings, the gorgeous houses tucked into the brush, and oh, the churches. We drove through a little town that is like the real Christmas Village. People were wandering from shop to shop and people were sitting at tables sipping tea in the chill of fall. I don't know why but the cherry on top was the chalkboard signs that read, "Hot Apple Cider". I have never been somewhere so charming. I'm not sure there's anything that goes wrong in Vermont.
     This last week we were able to go back to visit and it was decorated for Christmas. We went and strolled through the little Christmas Village town and I felt its charm all over again. The Christmas decorations definitely took it to another level that my heart almost couldn't handle. And tomorrow I get to go back to New York City. Since I've grown up watching Miracle on 34th Street I've wanted to see it around Christmas time. That dream is about to come true and I am so excited. I'm so blessed to be having this experience and seeing all of theses places. I'm especially grateful to be experiencing it with my sister and her husband. They are two of my best friends. They have opened up their lives to me and their home. It feels like my home too now and even though I love all of the places I've visited, this little, yellow house in Troy is my favorite.
     All of this has made me appreciate my life, my family, and all I have been given. It's also brought so much realization and clarity. I can become whoever I want to be. I don't have to feel afraid. I can do hard things. Family and home is in the ones you love. And there is always hope.